Dan, thank you. I wonder sometimes if I make sense. When I saw that you summarized the point I was trying to make so clearly…that was heartening. When people’s natures are getting squished (especially by the very people that love them!), this suppression has unexpected side effects like poor relationship behaviors. As you said, I’m definitely not defending or excusing those behaviors. It’s crappy for a man (or woman) to not do his fair share of housework. But I’m a problem solver. Complaining about the man doesn’t make him change. Nagging him doesn’t make him start cleaning the bathroom. When we learn some of the causes of that crappy behavior, that gives us ideas of what we can do to change it. In this case, I had hoped women might find it interesting to learn some of the psychological origins of the tendency to not help with housework. If something the woman does, in part, causes the behavior, the woman can change what she does and that's how she can change the behavior. I’m glad you understood that’s what I meant.

Unfortunately, some people are still insisting that the men ‘shouldn’t’ have that nature and simply ignore the cause-effect thing going on here. Ach well.

For the record, I’m not a fan of sandpaper on the bum. But I don’t take tissue with me on backpacking trips. That’s what leaves are for.

To me, skill sports like golf are way harder than Ironman. I can pedal all day long but having to deal with a ball that refuses to go in its hole--that would just turn me into a foul-mouthed ball of frustration (even more foul-mouthed than usual, I mean.)

Thank you also for giving me another reason to not get my taxes done. I was too busy watching videos of Fall Gauley. Pretty cool!

I’d say my days of living on the danger zone are mostly over. Then again, the things I want to do don’t seem dangerous to me, so danger is in the eye of the beholder:) I’d really struggle with not being ‘allowed’ to have the adventures I want to have. It's one of the things that would be hard for me to give up in a relationship—deciding for myself what risks I can and can’t take. These days my thinking is that it’s something to be negotiated. Instead of “No you can’t do that”, it’s “Under what conditions would you feel comfortable with me doing that?” Maybe that sort of thing, instead of height or astrological sign, is what people need to agree upon before deciding to marry.