Great bottom line, MJ. That's what's crystallized for me over the years: I have no business basing decisions about a career on a boyfriend. I'd only let a spouse have a say in whether I do/don't apply for jobs and whether I do/don't take a job. I liked the names you gave them--Mr. Squirrel and Mr. Heroin. Mr. Squirrel was in my life for a year, so I certainly gave him the option of signing up for the Lee train:):):) But he didn't, and that's the way some things go:)
Well, I'm thinking I need to defend Jesse's honor now. You wrote: "friends don't suggest playing pretend like that". In the context of trying to brainstorm how we could we improve that piece we were writing together, it was quite appropriate that he suggest that. That was one of several suggestions he had and one of several suggestions I had. Kind of like...a director and an actor brainstorming, "How can we make this scene better? " If one suggests, "Maybe we could add this to the scene, where he reaches over and brushes her hair out of her eyes, to make it edgier, or more interesting," that's just brainstorming. That's not suggesting something inappropriate. The point was that his suggestion sparked some thinking on my part, thinking that went way far away from anything that he intended. And that's what I appreciate about Jesse--and you. Our exchanges provoke me to think, which provokes me to write.
From what you wrote about talking 'dirty', I'm wondering if I need to make this clear: Jesse has not and did not talk 'dirty'. (I mean, I talk like Beavis & Butthead sometimes, being silly, pervy...that's what she said, but I think of that as silly, not dirty). He asked what I thought about adding flirty banter. That's more like 'witty' banter, not at all dirty banter. Like you and many of my male and female friends, I won't tolerate a person talking dirty, holy crap no way. But that's not even a concern with Jesse--he wouldn't talk dirty anyway.
I thought it funny as heck when Jesse teased me. It's like if I walked up to Brad Pitt and said, "Look, Brad. You need to know that me and you, it's a no go, honey. I'm sorry, but you need to know that." Brad could say, "Well, Lee, have no fear, it's not like I was interested in you in the first place," or Brad could say, "Are you friendzoning me?!" with silly, mock indignation. The latter is what Jesse did. I so appreciate friends who can tease with me--that suits my communication style very well:)
