Hello, James--Thank you for reading this! You and other readers (you too Paul C) have really helped me flesh out my thoughts on this topic further.

I’m starting to think that if one person is bothered by having church and state involved in their relationship, then that person might be best-suited for a relationship with someone who also feels concerned about the involvement of church and state.

I guess…I’ve seen that some people involved in this institution have not been ‘raked over the coals’, so I still believe it’s possible to be involved in this institution without all the negative consequences, tho certainly there is a risk for negative consequences.

Me being me, I can’t help but want to tweak what you wrote a tad:

Some humans have unhealed abandonment wounds (some don’t)

Some humans that have unhealed abandonment wounds…deal with those by avoiding commitment altogether (some don’t)

Some humans use…formal, traditional institutions to try and lock someone down to the extent possible (some don’t)

What you’ve written is a good reminder to us all to make sure we keep looking for the ‘some don’t’ people and, if we’re the “Some humans” people, we may need to keep doing the work needed to heal and make sure we’re not hurting or taking advantage of other people.