Hello, Natalie —

This piece was aimed at helping divorce men (especially those who had a miserable divorce) understand why divorced women don’t share their aversion to marriage. But I’m so glad that it helped you consider your own reasons for perhaps wanting to marry because yes, as you point, out, the reasons of re-marrying are very similar to the ones for marrying a first time as well:)

One of my goals in teaching is that all of my students learn how to talk with people who have completely different points of view. I constantly remind them that they may have the most incredible piece of information to give the world, but if they don’t learn to present it in a way that people are willing to consider it, people may pay more attention to how they deliver their info, fussing over that and completely ignoring the important info.

Being here on Medium is a constant reminder to model what I teach — to be completely willing to interact with people with different views, even if they’re a bit uncool with how they present their views.

I figure those who get a bit heated or heavy-handed in presenting their view never had someone teach them the skill of presenting their information in such a way that people will actually consider it. Their potentially wonderful message gets buried in the poor delivery. Shame, as they may have legitimate views.

But thank you for recognizing that it takes a bit of effort to respond to some of the less-than-kind comments. When I imagine that I’m modeling this skill to my students, that makes it worth it.

Natalie, thank you for your heartening message. I reciprocate the hope that you find the marriage — or whatever form of relationship — you want, and build it into a happiness-creating relationship!

— Lee