Hello, Skip--

It is so good to be questioned for very legitimate reasons.

I don't choose to use Medium as a medium for sourced research (see what I did there?). I do that in my research publications. Here on Medium I extrapolate much from research, but what I like to do here is 'translate research'.

I treat Medium more like the practice of psychology. Meaning, when we meet with clients and teach them potentially useful bits of info, we don't cite sources. We give them useful bits of info based on collective knowledge of the research. It's evidence-based practice, but I don't cite the evidence for every sentence I say. Indeed, like any professor or practitioner, I have read thousands of research articles. Sometimes the knowledge I have collectively grows into an understanding of various human phenomenon without being able to pinpoint which article added which tiny piece to that understanding.

Also, I like using casual words here rather than the formal academic terms. I'm happy to teach my students that the Welsh study is about "the language of intergroup distinctiveness" by Bourhis and Giles (1977).

I also like using casual words like "dang" which for some reason editors of peer-reviewed journals don't go for, so I get to live in alignment with my nature by writing some here on Medium where I can say dang freely:) Here on Medium, I also get the pleasure of writing personal material. Like many other writers, here, I don't have just one role here. It's not just to provide professional guidance. I too use this medium to understand and improve my own life.

Plus, I've learned that here on Medium you don't get read if you have super-long pieces. I'm so long-winded that most every piece I write starts at 11+ minutes long, so I have to spend a lot of time trimming down to a more manageable 7-minute piece. I can barely fit a point I want to make into a 7-minute piece. Adding a reference section means I'd write 1 minute of stuff and the rest would be references:).

Also, I choose to use examples, some from my personal experiences, to illustrate concepts and translate research. Just like when I teach--I use examples from people's experiences to illustrate a concept. I'm not basing the concept on the people's experiences. I would so hate that you or anyone misjudged me telling a story from my personal experience as any sort of basis for what you or anyone should do. But using that example sure makes concepts easier to grasp.

I'm sorry to see that you view what I wrote as 'stereotyping' men. I added a couple of sentences, like the ones that not all men want to be cowboys or military men, and not all men are negligent about housework. I sprinkled "some" throughout, but I see now that if you didn't pick up on that, you could perceive me as stereotyping men.

Apparently, I was a bit too subtle for my overarching point to be made clear. That's definitely something I hope to get better when writing here in the Medium platform. To be more explicit, I could have written this: When you zoom out, this isn't about whether some men want to work outdoors or some men want to be software engineers or some men do/don't help with housework or whether some women prefer to be domestic and some women want to go do dangerous careers or some women expect their men to be domesticated and some women don't. It's just about this: When people are living in a fashion that they spend a great deal of time out of alignment with their identity, some negative behaviors may stem from that mis-alignment. If you want to understand--and possibly change those negative behaviors--saying "Don't be that way! Don't do that!

You should or shouldn't do that" isn't terribly effective. Instead, all you can control is what you do. Check to see if there are ways that what you do can help that person live in more alignment (or have an outlet) for the suppressed portion of their identity. By doing that, they may end up engaging in the behavior you wanted them to do. Much of this is based on research about creating autonomy-supportive environments as well as harmonious passion versus obsessive passion and behavioral change and some other stuff cherry on top.

The gist is Skip, I think it's good, as you have pointed out, for all readers here on Medium to be aware that if you want sourced research, this isn't likely the best place for it.

Thank you for reading, Skip! More importantly, thank you for bringing up such an important point.

--Lee