I don't know about you Matt, but I felt I tried pretty hard for quite a long time, so when it all ended up feeling like wasted effort, I sort of--unconsciously--adopted the attitude that I wasn't going to bother trying much anymore. But when I finally recognized that was going on, I checked myself. No matter what the people in my past did or didn't do, no matter whether the effort I put into past relationships was wasted, I'm now consciously trying to make sure I treat each new person in my life as an individual who is not to suffer for my former failures. But man...it's quite tempting to be...guarded. It's tempting to not bother trying with a new person, knowing I might yet again have a dead end. Even if I end up wasting effort yet again, I'll at least feel better that I gave the person a fair chance and didn't treat him poorly due to people from the past. Mostly, I feel better now because I'm making sure that I don't let my past experiences warp me. I don't let my past experiences 'win' by making me be a jaded person. Geezus, I sound quite Pollyanna, don't I?:)