I think it's beautiful that you're still willing to examine yourself and your relationship after 30 years of marriage. This relationship thing seems to be a lifelong learning endeavour. It did take me a while to notice that...I was willing to try the activities he liked, but he wasn't giving mine a try. I like backpacking, but he wouldn't go with me. I was ok with that, but in hindsight I recognize that...if I wasn't willing to participate in his stuff, then we wouldn't do anything together. So...I'll keep trying to learn what is/isn't a healthy exchange to me. I do hope your hubby becomes more comfortable in time, that he appreciates that you're not one to be stagnant! And Cinette--thank you so much for the encouragement about my writing.