Ha!

If I was given a whole $1, I'd buy the boxed candies like Alexander the Grapes instead of a candy bar because 30 pieces of candy > 1 candy according to kid math.

Strangely, I now keep these super dark chocolate bars (85% cocoa) on my kitchen counter, and I break off a piece as I walk by. Even tho they're super bitter, the sensation of breaking off a small piece at a time is reminiscent of what I used to do with candy bars, so my sweet tooth is tricked.