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If You Want a Relationship To Last, Quit Being a “Good Sport”

The struggle to find a significant other with matching values

Lee Bidoski
7 min readApr 16, 2023
A woman poses for a glamour photo with expensive make-up, hairstyle, necklace, tiara, and dress.
Photo by Lance Reis on Unsplash

When my friend showed me the online dating profiles of women who attracted him, the profiles always contained ‘glamour’ photos.

For these kinds of photos, the women had to get their hair, make-up and clothing styled to the nth degree. They had to go to a professional photographer who had to do all the tricks that are done when photographing someone for the cover of a magazine.

Strangely, every time my friend dated women with those sorts of photos in their profiles, they didn’t last long. He’d complain that the women were materialistic.

One of my friend’s core values has to do with frugality, being careful with money, that sort of thing. (Ok, let’s just call it what it is: He’s a cheapskate.)

He liked the way women looked in those photos, but he wasn’t ‘reading between the lines’. More than likely, a woman willing to put out money for those sort of photos were prone to spend money on things he’d frown upon.

That’s what this is about: The struggle we have when we’re attracted to people who aren’t compatible with our ‘values’.

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Lee Bidoski
Lee Bidoski

Written by Lee Bidoski

I’m a psychology professor trying to understand and improve our lives. Relationships | Dating | Health | Careers | Sports | Law Enforcement | Military

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