I'm kind of fascinated about how we can detect in advance whether a woman or man will do their fair share of housework in a marriage. (To be fair, my sister and other women I've known were horrible slackers in doing their share of the housework so the guys did too much.) How can we tell? Is there a way to see that the person is the kind that won't do their share? I'm trying to imagine little 'tests', like if we're dating and we pop over to their homes unexpectedly, are they big slobs even tho they tidy their homes before we come over when we're expected?! I've read some things psychology practitioners suggest spouses who are frustrated with doing more than their share of the housework and after all the initial steps (talks, agreements), they suggest the spouse who typically does the bulk of the work simply go on strike. Only do the chores for yourself. Only cook for yourself. Only do your own laundry. Only clean after yourself, like only clean the dishes you used and only clean the dishes you need to use. Sure, it will be frustrating to have to see the other spouse's mess, but that's an example of a dramatic action to take, but less dramatic than divorce. I'd love to hear if any spouses have tried that for a long, extended time and what happened... The psychologists also suggest that, for the spouse who's doing so much of the work, to not do the chores that the other spouse agreeed to do. And, if that other spouse doesn't do them up to as good a standard as s/he prefers, don't bug 'em. So he didn't load the dishwasher exactly so--let it be because what matters is he took his turn loading it. If a spouse keeps scolding a spouse for never doing the housework 'exactly so', it's kind of...no wonder that s/he stops doing much...So this was some interesting stuff I learned as I went down this rabbit hole...:) Personally, if I ever got stuck with a husband who stopped doing his share of housework, I'm going to try the 'strike' approach, and then try a million different other things, or keep figuring out what tasks he will do instead of the ones he won't do. Something will likely work eventually! But yeah...trying to detect up front whether someone will/won't be a slacker in the housework department is what I'd prefer...