"late night ninja sneak attacks"--great description! I'm afraid I have been guilty of that a time or two myself:( I do like the idea of saying "let's hold off talking about this til we're both awake and clear-minded and coffeed up". Yet I also wish for simultaneously there to be a way to feel at peace before going to sleep with unresolved yuck. Maybe it's just a matter of giving reassurance--"No we can't solve this right now, but you know we'll figure it out together and find a way to a happy resolution as we always do." That's what I'm aiming for, that even when there's something upsetting, underneath it is the sureness that it will get worked out tho just not right at this moment...but yeah, a wise man will figure out there's zero point in trying to talk to me before coffee:)