Thank you, Jonathan. It was kind of hard to admit this 'out loud' here on Medium.

Before I hit "Publish", I had the 'writing butterflies' you get when you hit "Publish", the ones you described in your "Medium is not a contest..." piece.

You said we get those butterflies when we feel we haven't compromised our message. I so wanted other people to hear this message. When I became aware that this was my pattern, it was a game-changer in my life. I just stopped doing it, plain and simple, and since then have been able to find people who are capable of healthy relationships.

I want that for other people, for them to check themselves to see if they have that pattern too, if needed.