What you're describing here is a very natural progression. We wouldn't transfer gobs of intimacy to a person we've just met. But there's a gradual transfer...the problem is when we haven't transferred much to the people we've graduated to relationship status with. But even in dating, you can put out sort of feelers to get a feel for whether they're someone you do (or don't) want to develop more emotional intimacy with. Give a little minutia here, a little 'how would you advice me on this dilemma' there...if none of this transfer has occurred before we embark on relationships with them, how do we know we're suited to be in relationships with them...