You seem to have to see a lot of the 'seedy' side of some dads. I totally get that you're very sensitive to the topic of dads needing to be better dads and not neglecting their kids for the sake of girlfriends. I sometimes try so hard to see and understand why people do what they do, even the awful things they do, trying so hard not to judge them or at least temper my judgement in understanding 'why' they do it, but there are some hard and fast "No, that is not excusable" behaviors. Abandoning kids is one of those inexcusable things. I think it's...pretty cool that you don't 'excuse' those dads' behaviors. Something I found interesting in the military is that members could 'get fired' (dishonorably discharged) for their poor behaviors in their personal lives. For examples, if they weren't financially responsible or abandoned their familial responsibilities, they'd get kicked out. The rationale was that if they couldn't be counted on to act responsibly/ethically/morally in their personal lives, how could taxpayers and the public trust them to act responsibly/ethically/morally in the conduct of war. In contrast, most public sector jobs won't fire you if you're doing uncool stuff in your personal life, so I really respect that you held that standard with the employees that were good workers but created misery in his family.

I'm just sorry you have to deal with the distress they cause, but...I'm glad that ex-wife had you to help her.